Choosing to try again

By Lindiwe

Hey guys! Happy new month, I hope this month brings you all love, peace and happiness.🌺✨

So listen, I know I’ve been gone for way too long. It’s been a few weeks since I had last put out ANYTHING.

But in all honesty these last few weeks have been significantly harder for me than any time in my life. I was always extremely anxious and all I wanted to do was just sleep and live in my shell with as little social interaction as possible.

I could never find it in me to be consistent with anything including doing all the things I loved. Everyday was gloomy, same routine, same feeling, same demotivation, same dark hole.

And honestly, I don’t know a worst time in my life than this one. Waking up and feeling drained and motionless after 8 hours of sleep was hell. Walking a different route to the mall so you don’t meet anybody you know because they’ll know something wrong with you is hell. Constantly ignoring self reflection because you’re scared of what you’ll realise about yourself is hell. Listen, it was hell. It was an emotional rollercoaster.

But as I’m writing this at this moment I’m okay, stepping into everyday easy and some days are better than others. I’ve blogged before about how having a routine can be helpful and I’m following my own advice again.
It’s been 5 days since I decided I want to take an active step in changing how I feel and how I live through each day. I’m getting better at helping myself realise my toxic traits and how I can change them, I’ve gotten better at scripting my manifestations
I’d say this a good space, a breath of fresh air.

The next step with a new step. letting myself know everyday that I’m worthy and every situation is a lesson and not a personal attack on the self. Getting myself know that I’m not alone, I am surrounded by love and constant abundance. That disappearing and being emotionally unavailable is okay, that maybe in that time you are watering yourself into a new path in your life.

If you’re like me or even feeling something close to what I’m feeling, know that you’re not alone. You are loved, you are the light, your feelings are valid, the days will get better and know that flowers also bloom in the darkness as much as they do in the light.

We will be okay.🌱