I am in this gloomy room I got here just yesterday My new owner says I look beautiful I can believe that I think she’s beautiful too She says I smell good and I believe that She’s a good person So perfect She’s what I am every time I am watered Radiant She feels like home, she is home In her possession I will always feel wanted She makes me feel wanted It’s my second day and she’s taking pictures right beside me She has watered me; I look as beautiful as her She looks like everything is going to be okay She’s the pillar of strength one meets once in a lifetime There’s so much love and life in her It shows on her skin, her smile I am just a flower but it’s rare to find somebody who’s always in their raw form I’m just a flower.
It’s been a few weeks since we were told to self isolate leading up to a lockdown and immediately this had a toll on my mental health. I was overwhelmed at how fast things were moving, how fast my life was changing.
I then tried to get the best of it all and tried self care routines,exercising, planning my reading times and blogging times. Well let’s say I really tried to do all of this. In the first week I was still trying to make sense of it all, an hour at a time. I tried sticking to the schedule that I had drafted for myself.
One hour at a time I took it. And I did try to stick to the schedule. But I just couldn’t. All I wanted to do was lay around, nap and do absolutely nothing. I didn’t want to be productive or learn something or even start a new habit in the first 21 days. I didn’t want none of that. It was overwhelming that I tried to not overcome the fear and uncertainty I was feeling and I tried distracting myself with schedules and tried to overcome it all. I tried, but the depressed me just took over. I wanted sleep to get over it all.
But amidst all of that, I was very sad for not achieving my weekly goals because I chose sleep over productivity. I felt sad about that because this is probably the last time I’ll get this much free time ever again. So I beat myself up for it over and over again, and in the second week I drafted a new schedule and new weekly goals. And that week I chose both sleep and productivity and I got to achieve half of my weekly goals.
In the third week I was calmer, more clearer of my head space so I didn’t draw up any weekly goals, I still chose sleep and productivity simultaneously – some days I chose neither. Some days I was okay with staring into space and scrolling on social media and interacting with friends to even care of what I need to enhance about myself in this time.
Right there and then, I realized that it’s okay. It’s okay to do whatever you want to do in this uncertain times. You don’t need to learn anything new, you don’t need to form new habits. It’s okay to rest, it’s okay to sleep. It’s okay. Don’t pressure yourself, you’ll get up when you feel the need to for yourself in your own time. Always take it easy.
We often hear that communication is key to solving all corners our lives and helping us strength our relations with people as we always need to be honest and upfront with our feelings and intentions.
And this is something I have been struggling with for most times in my life, being upfront – being intentional.
I’ve always felt as if being too open with people and being too truthful will open room for vulnerability and that can be used against me. I had ruined too many relations because I had always distanced myself to avoid feeling as though I’m over relying on anybody to help me with my true feelings of what may have been happening in my life then. I did not see the need to speak or effectively communicate.
Well until I met my current partner and right there and then I discovered a new world of what it is to understand and to be understood. I must say I didn’t know how to not fight with my words and actions when I had been wronged, I did not know how to keep calm even in commotion.
I realised that I had to realise one thing, that distancing myself in attempt to fix my life and not bother anybody with my problems made me feel frustrated and even more lonely than ever before.
Communication and apprehension have been the biggest priority in my life ever since I realised that if I want to keep moving in my life and to keep the beautiful people in my life I had to keep that going by constantly sharing what I want to share with them and also understanding then when they have things to tell me.
There’s progression in being calm and being able to speak to yourself about your life and other people. There’s progressing in knowing that isolating yourself would only make it feel better for a while but not in the long run.
We as humans need each other, listen to other people and be intentional and most importantly know that you do not have to go through this life thing alone. Til next time, Keep Well!
“Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life” – Rumi
We often get caught up in our mandness and the clutters of life and we forget to listen and give a chance to be grateful. Being grateful brings more blessings and helps with manifestations, for what you are grateful for, you will still be grateful for what is to come.
And that’s the beauty of gratitude, the sense of thanking the universe for what is here, and thanking it for what is yet to come. Therefore we should look into our lives and everyday be grateful for what we have, to be grateful for our health, our family, another day to live, the opportunities that always unfold before our very eyes. And everyday we should express our gratitude to maintain a positive attitude and to try to see the good out of life.
“The secret to having it all is already knowing that you do” -Unknown
Belief and constantly manifesting the reality that I want is something that I do almost everytime, and I’ve had some of my manifestations come to life and it always feel surreal.
But I always remember that if it is meant for me it will come and it will last. And I’ll forever be grateful to the universe for what it provides and what it will continue to provide.
When we realise how we are constantly grateful for the things that we have, we open up doors and make manifest more positive behaivour and attitudes into our lives. So, what are you grateful for today?
Rose in The Dark – By Lindiwe This review about Cleo Sol’s new release “A Rose In The Dark” that excited her fans including myself late March. I personally discovered Cleo on the Colors show when she performed her EP(Winter Songs) top charter “Why Don’t You?” in 2017 and right there and then I was blown away. Cleo always wows her fans with an 80s/90s aesthetic that follows in her music to the way that she dresses. She is known for her contemporary songs/acoustic songs that fall in the contemporary RnB and Neo Soul music genre.
Moving to her first ever album — “Rose In The Dark”, It’s safe to say that sis delivered hey! After her singles last year that also did well on YouTube, “Sweet Blue ” & “One” , I’d love to share that this album was definitely worth a listen.
This is mostly because of the way she kept on delivering very important and sentimental messages throughout the entire in the album and the acoustic feel complemented the entire purpose in the album, and I couldn’t be more happier. To my favourite song in the album ” Butterfly”, the message conveyed in the song is that we should always keep the faith even though things don’t always in our favour and to never give up on ourselves and our dreams.
That message right there exactly what some of us should remember and keep to ourselves for as long as we possibly can, that even though things don’t go in your favour whenever you want them to, keep within faith and remind yourself that everything happens for a reason and faith is what will keep us growin, eventually the dreams will unfold right there and then. And “Butterfly” Cleo Sol’s album is my new favourite piece of music and if you have heard the album before, let me know which song spoke to you and why. If you haven’t listened to the album, what on earth on are you waiting for!??
For my next review I’ve got in mind another up and coming vocalist and I’m so excited for this one. Keep tuned. til next time, keep well!
Greetings and welcome to other one of my blog posts after going MIA for a few weeks (It’s been a nightmare!) , but that brings me to this conversation — self doubt and losing direction. I have been battling with this for a while now and it’s something that has affected me in many ways.
This limits your capabilities, it impacts your mental health and you just don’t trust yourself the way you are supposed to any longer. I must say that I experience self doubt and imposter syndrome simultaneously and I never really believe that I can own that sense of greatness in me. I sometimes don’t believe it’s my work that I write. And for a while I have let it consume me, and sometimes it still does. That’s where the sense of lost direction just comes into a place, ugh this is a lot now isn’t it? It is, it’s even more overwhelming when you want to do something or you want to follow a certain path but yet the process escapes you. Now, this is why I’m always in and out of reach with my art creation. Self doubt that in the process makes me lose the path I set myself on. This is the nightmare. I have googled so many ways to get over this and I haven’t found anything that has worked for me using that platform. So right there and then I made a few adjustments in my life and the way I do things that can help me with this situation and I hope that they can work for you too.
Journaling – I use this as a coping tool, it gives me freedom to express myself without feeling like I’ll be judged, it gives me freedom to be myself and be in touch with my genuine self.
Meditating – I use this to tap into my connection with the universe and to get my mind to be as still as I possibly can and reminding myself that I can be all I want whenever I need to be.
Doing tasks that can make me feel good about myself: better known as self care. Reading books, listening to loud music, dancing freely, take long baths, check up on friends, watch series. All that is rewarding to myself, an instant mood lifter. But at the end of day we should look into ourselves, and remind ourselves that we can achieve all we can if we can put our mind to it. I’ve been trying to do that, to remind myself that I’m worthy of all I’ve achieved and all I can still achieve. I want to turn this self doubt to self confidence, it’s been and it’s still going to be a difficult journey, but I believe it can still happen. Thank you for reading. If you’d love to share some tips on how we can get over this please reach out on my instagram or twitter. Til next time, take care!
A while ago I had written a poem about fulfillment, letting go and letting happiness find us. For many of you, you know that poems within that theme are my “go to” particularly because I still am trying to let go and let happiness find me and to be at peace. We are somehow always held back by something from our past even without us realising it. We subconsciously allow our fears take over parts of our lives we’re not even aware of. And when we realise how much we’ve constricted ourselves is when we realise all opportunities that we let slip by because we were scared, because we did not trust ourselves enough. I’ve been trying to unlearn the fear of the unknown and letting the unknown determine my response for the present, why should I deprive myself of an opportunity just because I do not know what the future entails? I needed to remind myself that self trust should be a big part of emotional being, everything I do needs me to trust myself and what I want to create or manifest into my everyday being. I needed to pinpoint where was this fear coming from and what caused it, and what about it I needed to change and then write down steps on how I unlearn this. A vision board of me achieving things I never thought I would and work towards that while motivating myself daily and reminding myself that fear doesn’t win, but the person does. That’s when the fulfilment creeps in, you feel lighter, fuller, ready to achieve more. Where you allow yourself to appreciate what you do, applauding yourself for achieving all you thought you couldn’t do. Remember to be vulnerable with yourself and trust your instincts, know when you are trusting your instinct and when you are just scared to take up an opportunity. In esssence, there wasn’t much I wanted to say on this post – it was a reminder to myself and maybe to yourself that we are so much more, we deserve so much more and we can achieve so much. Don’t limit yourself, never limit what you can do, don’t let fear take over. This is it from me. Til next time, keep well!
The poem I wrote a while ago about letting go and letting love find us
This is my second post on this blog and I’m excited for this conversation, it’s about how to be mindful and all I’ve learned on my journey to not stop believing in myself and what I desire. There are times where we often feel as though we may not be doing enough to reach our goals or we not doing enough to get where we think we’re supposed to be. Now this was me, completely — Often times I would completely withdraw from reality and do as little as possible, so I wouldn’t feel bad for not being close to where I wanted , I made it okay to be inconsistent or to just not be present in my goals. Until I practiced mindfulness and believing in myself and the things that I’ve always wanted to do. How does one practice mindfulness ? Personally, it was about self awareness and learning how to be present in moments or care about my way of being and my surroundings, it was about being committed to everything I’m doing and slowing down on all the things that made me rush my success, that meant eliminating things such as social media or social spaces that did not benefit me or what I wanted to be all about. It was a path on realising that I can not go on the way I already am. Craving for growth and realising all your heart desires is the step of taking control, always look for opportunities to grow – to grow emotionally and mentally. Since we all tend to backtrack on our mental and our growth, we should leave room for that to happen without us feeling bad about it but noticing the times you feel otherwise and working towards getting out of that state of mind. And remember to breathe right? Always pay attention to your breathing and doing a bit of exercises to help you keep calm and see things in a better light to help you keep your mind in the present, without it wandering around the past or the unexpected future. And I’ll close it off by reminding us to keep a time schedule where we allocate enough time to rest and focus on things that make us happy such as listening to music, reading, mindful walking, drawing, or just journaling. Lastly I would like to say that, we should give ourselves time. We will do our best and we will make our dreams come true. Check up on your mind amd body states all the way. That’s it from me. Until next time, Keep well!
This is my first blog post and I am so happy to present my first music review, and for the next weeks to come I’ll be doing more reviews, poetry, poetry book reviews and content on social media.
So let’s get to it! Yes,Raveena’s soft magic. It’s interesting that I got to know Raveena through her Colors performance on YouTube which has over 4 million views currently and that is totally well deserved. She wowed me with the passion in her voice, and her intention for love and softness. I have been listening to her music, her latest music being the Moonstone EP (check it out, and I’ll review it later 😉 ) and I’ll start by reviewing the Shanti EP, the EP that EP about love, heartbreak, one’s intentions. The EP has one of her biggest songs which was performed on the colours show “If Only” she swept me on my feet about how she’s getting over her lover and how it’s too late to make amends she has moved on, amazing contrast to the “Wherever U Go” song where she speaks about attachment to her lover and whatever they go she’ll definitely be there. Shanti is about love, the good sides of love, the “I’m so whipped” love and the “I’m in love with you but I’m also letting you go” love, which is a true reality to many people seeking or harboring love. We all sometimes long for love to be our safe place for as long as it can, to keep us away from the darkness and keep our hearts warm, but knowing the possibility that it can all end when least expected. In Raveena’s Shanti EP this is the reality and mood that she takes us through, the thrill, the sadness, the shattered emotions but all in softness. There is a lot of relatability and everyone can have their own beautiful interpretation of it all, and in essence I’ve learned that love is amazing, fruitful and abundant and that everybody deserves some love whenever, wherever. I will be reviewing an album next week, maybe the Moonstone EP by Raveena? I don’t know but you can hit me up on Instagram and suggest an album or EP that would like me to review (handle: @lindiwe.e) until next time, keep well!
